Gainsborough And The Perils Of Broccoli Before Bedtime

Thomas Gainsborough (1727-1788) wasn't much of a one for travel. While other artists were risking their necks and their reputations on the European Grand Tour, Gainsborough wished for nothing more than to walk off to "some sweet Village where [he] could paint landskips."

But, more often than not, in order to paint pictures like this, he would venture no further than his own parlour.

"He would make models - or rather thoughts - for landscape scenery on a little old-fashioned folding oak table... This table, held sacred for the purpose, he would order to be brought to his parlour, and thereupon compose his designs. He would place cork or coal for his foregrounds; make middle grounds of sand or clay, bushes of mosses and lichens and set distant woods of broccoli."

The first bit is easy. You pay a visit to your local greengrocer, splurge on broccoli, celeriac and the dirtiest parsnips you can find; buy some cocktail sticks and a kilo of Blu Tack, so that your broccoli trees will stand up straight and invest in a few mirror tiles from Ikea. Garnish with a sprig of rosemary from the garden.

If you're really committed to your art, as Gainsborough obviously was, you can crush the mirrors so that your otherwise unconvincing pond will at least have a few ripples in it. Gainsborough also used sulphurous lumps of whiting and wet coal, but I'd forget about that unless you can equip yourself with a pair of tongs. But if you really want to live dangerously, as Gainsborough obviously did, you may complete your panorama with a handful of brussels sprouts.

It isn't easy to spot the brussels sprouts in a Gainsborough landscape, but according to his rival Joshua Reynolds, that's exactly what he used. Perhaps he used them for the clouds.

Now for the hard part.

Paint your landscape so that it actually looks like a landscape and not, well... chopped vegetables.

A few sketches to check your composition will help, but most important of all...

Use your imagination.

According to Margaret, one of his daughters, Gainsborough had to give up this pleasurable pastime because, "he thought he did not sleep so well after having applied to drawing in the evening not being able to divest himself of the ideas which occupied his mind."

Too much broccoli has the same effect on me too.

Images courtesy of the Claverton Art Group, Bath, Somerset, UK.